Pornicane

 
Healing Through Christ, page 4: "If we were caught in a category five hurricane, we would all admit we were powerless over such a destructive storm.  We would choose to take cover in a safe place as soon as possible.  Accepting that we are powerless over hurricanes is a wise use of our agency.  Accepting that we are powerless to control and stop the addiction of our loved ones is the key that will open the door to deeper humility and trust in our Heavenly Father.  He is the one who does have the power to help our loved ones overcome their addiction and help us through this challenging dilemma."

Addiction is like a storm in our lives for sure! Big time!  My husband hurts me over and over and over again. And no, its really not on purpose, even though it feels like it is sometimes.  If we were in a hurricane, we would take cover.  We wouldn't ask ourselves, 'why can't i just tough it out and stay outside while the hurricane is whirling?' Well, um, because it's dangerous, it's harmful to our bodies to be in a hurricane.  Why is it that so often we ask ourselves, "why can't I just LOVE my husband and give myself to him?" um, because he hurts me, and lies to me.  I hear so often of women beating themselves up because they don't feel connected with their husband, they can't offer the love and support they feel like they should, etc.  Ya, it's because porn addiction is like a hurricane to our soul and our heart. We need to seek refuge for our spirit when our husbands are in addict mode.  Being open to our husbands while they are in addict mode is one of the most harmful things we can do for our heart. When we see the addict approaching us, instead of our loving, caring husband, it's time to shut the doors, shut the windows. Hide yo kids, hide yo hearts, the pornicane is a comin. Don't open up and think that if you love him enough, he will stop. Because he won't. He needs to turn to Christ to stop.  No amount of love in the world is enough to make your husband stop.  I know without a doubt that i need to protect myself more, and not guilt myself because I'm not feeling loving and close to my husband.  Those feelings are a natural consequence of his actions. Just because I don't feel like I love my husband, in that moment, doesn't make it a fact. It doesn't mean I don't love him at all.  My feelings are not facts. :)