Motto of the YEAR!

 
Last night, I was going through some of Step 1 in my manual, and I came across a quote.  I know someone had told me this quote, once before, but I had forgotten about it.  I love this quote so SO much. I have decided to name it my motto of the year:

"Feelings are not Facts" 

Woah, WHAT? You mean when I feel like my husband hates me, that's not a fact?
when I feel like i am ugly, and that's why my husband looks at porn. not a fact.
when I feel like I am a failure as a mother, wife, and human being. not a fact.
feeling fat. not a fact.
feeling like there is no hope. not a fact.
feeling unlovable. not a fact.

This motto, this quote, just might be life changing for me. Just because I'm feeling it, does NOT make it a fact!  It's genius! 

Feelings and emotions are pretty much the same thing in my book.  I could google it, and see if I'm sounding dumb by saying that, but ain't nobody got time for that!

A quote in step one says this: 
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland cautioned: " I supposed it goes without saying that negative speaking so often grows from negative thinking...we speak-or at least think-critically...and before long that is how we see everyone and everything.  No sunshine, no roses, no promises of hope or happiness.  Before long we and everybody around us are miserable."

This is me. I admit.  I hate to admit.  When my husband and I were having our fighting marathons over Christmas break, he turned MY anger back on ME and said, "how have YOU changed this past year?" And I said, "I have grown more bitter and angry and hateful.  THAT is how I have changed."  And that made me sad.  I'm turning into my mother. That made me sadder....saddest of the sads.  I can't let this addiction win and take over and blacken my heart.  If I do that, Satan wins. And Satan is a jerk! He just can't win! So here I am, trying to completely submerge myself into working the steps, praying for my husband and loving myself. 

I can feel my feelings, but I won't let them turn my heart cold anymore.  I can burn my feelings into paper, or smash them into plates. But they will no longer trick me into thinking they are facts and blacken my heart. I'm taking over.