Sweet daughter, please walk with me.

 (this picture is totes not me and my daughter. it's a mother and daughter on google. heh)

Ohhhhhhhh man.  Last night, i had a very sad, yet touching moment with my oldest.  She is 8. She has keratosis pilaris, otherwise known as chicken bumps on her arms and legs.  She is soooooo self conscious about it.  Who wouldn't be?  It's one of those things the doctor says she will just 'grow out of'.  As we wait, and hope, to see if she will grow out of it, she hates herself.  I think it's growing.

Last night, I could tell that something was bothering her, so we talked.  When I asked her what was wrong, she just looked down at her skin.  I said, "your bumps?" and she nodded her head.  Tears started quietly, painfully rolling down her cheeks.  I felt my heart break.  But wait!  I saw this as my chance to try to pull her onto my path.  I grabbed her face and looked into her eyes and said, "your are beautiful, you are kind, you are loving.  you are SUCH a good daughter and sister. You have so much love.  Daughter, people will NOT remember you for your bumps, they will remember you for the good you do and for how you make them feel.  I know that this doesn't make it all better, but PLEASE believe that you will never be remembered for your bumps. never! Everyone has something they don't like about their body, and a lot of the time, we don't even notice those things." She was crying and I was almost crying.  I was trying to tell her powerful words full of love and hope.  I hope it worked, if even a little.  I hate so bad to see my sweet little 8 year old already hating her body because it's not what she thinks it's what it should be.  I want to knock those weeds she has around her heart down and teach her to love herself.

In other news, I woke up thinking, 'what the crap have i done starting this blog? I can't do this, i can't love myself, there are too many things i hate about myself'.  But I'm pressing on.  Not everyday will be good, but why should it?  I'm not one of those fakers, I'm real.  This blog is going to be really up and down.  But that's okay, my crazy train serves brownies!