I HAVE Done Hard Things!

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Spiders. 

Who doesn't? gross.  Especially the hairy legged ones. (literally JUST got chills on the back of my neck. no lie. 
I have fears. Spiders, snakes, being lied to again, a child dying, you know, the usual. A few weeks ago, i did this:

This is ME, this is MY HAND. That is a wild Tarantula roaming the wilderness.  And I let it climb on my hand.  Twice.  Gross? Disturbing?  NO!  BRAVE! I friggin TOUCHED A TARANTULA! I am so brave!  I felt so good that i conquered one of my fears. For the next week I would tell my husband, "guess what?  I touched a tarantula".  And he was proud of me, and shocked by my behavior.  It does good things for my soul to be proud of myself and see that my husband is proud of me.

Speaking of brave, hard things, here is something else I have done:

I gave birth to this beautiful little love of my life. Naturally. For me, it was a big deal.  I have had other labors, fabulous, epidural labors.  But this time i decided, nope, I want it natural.  And it was HARD. SO hard.  I reached a new level of exhaustion that I didn't know existed.  I have long long labors.  But I stayed home until my water broke.  Heck, I went TRICK or treating and labored in driveways of strangers.  A few days ago, my husband and I were talking about my natural labor, and he confessed something to me.  "I didn't think you would be able to do it", he said.  It didn't hurt my feelings, cause he knows how hard labor is for me. But I DID do it.  And once again, I surprised him, AND myself with my strength.

Today's blog isn't really about anything profound or any light bulb moments. I just feel like I (we) need to stop holding myself back with fear. Fear of pain from labor, fear of fuzzy furry 8 legged things, fear of LIES, BETRAYAL and skinny women. I want to do more hard things And I want YOU to do hard things, and tell others about them. Tell me about them, and we will talk about it, over a pile of brownies.